I still have the house. It is still decorated for Christmas and always will be. There is a tree in the corner with baubles and lights. Underneath the tree are presents. Garland is strung up and down the stairwell. Stockings are hung by the fireplace that is as cold and dark as my heart. Sitting in my favorite chair I look up on the wall to the painting we had commissioned on our eighth Wedding Anniversary, a portrait of my wife Francis holding our newborn twin daughters Alexis and Amanda. That half Mona Lisa smile haunts me. I used to tease her about it. Usually when she smiled she did it with her whole face. Her mouth would be wide open, teeth flashing, and her eyes would crinkle up. But she hated how it looked in pictures so whenever she posed for a photograph she would wear that half smile. She might have hated her smile but I loved it. I loved her. I still love her. It was six years ago today that they were taken from me. The house was decorated, the cookies were baked, and the. I think I’m beginning to understand what you’re saying about embarrassment being exciting. It feels kind of naughty, but in a good way.“It’s out there, but there’s nothing wrong with that when you get down to it. I mean if someone does know that I did something with you, what are they going to do? Say it’s somehow okay for them to look at your stream but not for me to have fun?”“Well, yeah, people are twisted around enough in their own heads to find ways of doing exactly that without realizing it.”He laughs. “I guess so. But I’m not sure I need to pay attention to people like that. I don’t see anything shameful in what I’m doing. Honestly learning a bit from someone older where I’m safe from anything permanent happening seems like a smart plan.”“Emotions have long-lasting effects. This game has those turned on full.”“Sure, but you know what I mean.”I nod. “So, are you looking for something more like going on a date or something more like a crazy hot time with a whore?”“Can I have.
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